Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Train of thought

Dear Marc, how did you spend your Saturday? I spent mine on the cafe tram that takes tourists on a short but picturesque tour of Stockholm. I had both kids and a friend with me. Before getting on the little trolley, we had waited for ten minutes in the freezing cold. As we saw the tram in the distance and prepared to board, I notice that my son needs a diaper change. There are no bathrooms on the cafe trolley.

I'm a fast mom with a tendency to exaggerate my own skills. I said to myself "I can change the diaper here and now, at the speed of light." There was snow in the air as I opened the thermal overall and took off the smelling package. Joel's skimpy clothing was left unopened at the crotch, with his new diaper not completely secured. The tram pulled in and I started to load the pram onto the cafe trolley, but I couldn't get it through the door. That's when my heroic friend Annika took command and told me to get on the train with my kids, she would load the pram onto a non-cafe section of the train.

This is the terrifying view that met shocked Italian tourists on the cafe tram:
A mother carrying a half naked baby with his peepee exposed to the arctic wind. Her other hand raised in the air, proudly displaying a foulsmelling diaper. Things calmed down after the climax, but as you can see in the picture below, I never quite recovered from feeling and looking slightly panicked.

It was not my proudest moment. Later I told this story to my boyfriend and asked him "If at 16, someone would have showed you a picture of me at that exact moment and said "this is your future", what would you have done?"

"It's in my nature to accept my fate" he said and went to get more ice cream.

In closing this letter let me tell you that I wish you, sir, perfect tram boardings for the rest of your life. Also, if you should ever feel like making a sculpture of me, let it be a golden one with my fist raised in the air, clutching a diaper.

Love from your


Tony said...

Dear so-and-so,

You are amusing.

Respectfully yours,

Eamonn Sullivan said...

My wife asks me a similar question all the time (we have five children, although much older now). My answer is always the same -- I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

Anonymous said...

Your English is not bad!

-e said...


Jagosaurus said...

I like how calm and unaffected your children look (in that photo) in the aftermath of this, uh, momentous event. I think this demonstrates just how fabulous a mother you probably really are.

Either that or you drugged them.

-e said...

It could be that this was not the first time they were the innocent victims of my optimistic time management.

Jagosaurus said...

Ah, so perhaps they are gaining valuable skills at coping with whatever comes along and taking it in stride? That is good (and clever) parenting.

みっちゃん said...

Hahaha, this is great!

Kevin said...