Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Pals don’t let pals forget pals

Dear Marc, do you remember the time before the Internet? I do. Before e-mail, there was pen pals. Would you like to be my pen pal, Marc? I’m a great pen pal because of all my experience from being a pre-teen world scribbler. I had a pen pal in every country and because my name was somehow printed in an Algerian newspaper, I worked hard as a 13-year old, trying to keep in touch with all my new African friends.

I knew what they had for breakfast in Korea in the 80´s. Kim Young told me the details. I knew how afternoons were spent in Tasmania, how boring it was to look after younger brothers in France, how the school uniforms itched in Scotland. My pen pals let me know.

I also received a letter from an inmate in the US. After writing 9 pages about himself and the crimes he had committed, the prisoner told me that he would never forgive me if I didn’t write him back. There are still days when I look out the window and wonder if he knows I don’t live at my old address anymore.

But the best letter arrived from India. It was short. It said “Emi guner, send me a pair of shoes and a bag. My size of shoes is 38”. There was no “dear”, no “please”. It was a poor person rightfully asking a richer to help out. Unfortunately, I lost the letter before I could help. I’m sure you can relate to this kind of letter, but don’t worry, I won’t demand that you send me a pair of shoes and a bag (my size of shoes is 36). I just wonder if you have recently received a letter from India with a message identical to mine? Time has come for me to clear my conscience.


ps. Here are some blogs I’ve read recently. If you have read all this, read them too. People tell me blog should have links and pics.

Hustler of Culture

Give me spirit fingers, dammit

Go fug yourself


Eebs said...

I've been creating a pen pal renaissance amongst my friends, simply because my letter-to-bill ratio has skyrocketed in the past five years. You're welcome to join the club. ;) I keep up correspondance.

I've even dug out old boxes of stickers from when I "collected" them in elementary school. I plaster my letters with them.

Lonnie Bruner said...

Dear Emi,

I still haven't forgiven you.


- Your inmate penpal

Eebs said...

You oughtta get a bigger, badder inmate to protect you from the unforgiving inmate. I imagine only good things can come of that.

Anonymous said...

It said “Emi guner, please send me a pair of shoes and a bag. My size of shoes is 38”.
There was no “dear”, no “please”.


-e said...

You are so right. I was testing you,and you passed the test. I shall remove the obsessive please at once.