Monday, December 12, 2005

Sign: Rodent

Dear Marc, what's your sign? I'm a Virgo, the zodiac loser. We're not losers in the traditional, low-achiever way. No, one of the Virgo trademarks is the industrial nature we supposedly embody. Add to that an anal-retentive persona and worrisome character. Perfectionists and busybodies unite under the Virgo sign.

That's not me. I read whatever it says that Leos will experience, which is enough to disqualify me from being an orderly Virgo. I'm loud and proud. And one day, I will have a mane of red golden hair.

The signs confuse me. I mix them up. There are lots of ram-looking signs. Are you one of those? I'm happy to be a selfmade Leo, but if there was really a sign that would be true to my nature, it would be the sign of the squirrel.

Small and energetic, nibbling on small foods, I have a tendency to hide things. It's not on purpose, but it happens every time I clean.

Then I forget where I hid the stuff. This was fine when I lived by myself and only tucked away my own belongings. As of now, it's driving A crazy. He can't find any of his stuff. And I can't tell him where to look. I'm sure this is what it would be like to live with senile elves.

The other day he found his hat in his sock drawer. His bills have been rescued from the trash. And I can't remember why I ever thought it was a good idea to put his iPod in the bathroom cabinet. Neither can he.

As we're moving house, just about everything he owns has "disappeared". I know it's my fault. At the same time I think he should be grateful, since our place is so clean! I thank my lucky star that he's got more patience than I deserve. I think that's one of his sign's trademarks. He's a Cancer, moving sideways through life. Since I'm a cute Leo/Squirrel moving steadily forward, we try to share the perspectives the other half misses out on. Without yelling.

I know you're a dog owner. Do human star signs apply to them? Can a dog be a Libra? Since 1 human year is equivalent to just about 7 dog years, how do you tell a dogs stellar standing? It's as confusing as foreign money exchange. Or is it simply the birthdate that counts? What about Chinese signs? Can a dog be a rat or a pig? Perhaps Shirley McLaine can tell us. Do you know her? She seems to know a lot more than I do. I'll try to look it up in one of her books. If I can find them. Now where did I put them?

Sending you a nutful of season's greetings.


Eebs said...

(from a daily newsletter I get at work)

HBO has a new comedy project in development, based on the memoirs of former New York Times food critic Ruth Reichl. Says Variety, the story begins at the same place as her second book, Comfort Me with Apples, as a chef and moves thru to her career as a critic, while simultaneously following her personal life thru one failed marriage, a successful second marriage and a child. Produced by Cary Brokaw's Avenue Pictures, the pilot will be written by Dawn Prestwich and Nicole Yorkin.

-e said...

yay! thankyou eebs!

GirlPaint said...

Your new sign of the Squirrel describes me to a "t". I laughed to myself when I read about your taking to hiding things from yourself (and your A)...I do this often and my poor hubbie reminds me with a, "...hiding things from yourself again?" It's alwasy a result of wanting a clean home. By the way, I am a Leo with lots of Virgo tendencies. And I love your blog!

-e said...

We may be on to something here! leo/virgo=squirrel.

daddylikeyblog said...

So you definitely need to spring for the squirrel bag. Not only will you be forever in vogue, you'll have a clearly labeled repository for your squirrel-stashing tendencies. Perfection.