Monday, December 05, 2005
Dress them up in your love
Dear Marc, the holidays are just around the corner, so I thought we'd might discuss gifts today.
I think the following women are worthy of a lovely Marc Jacobs seasonal gift, be it a Christmas gift, Kwanzaa celebratory token or Hanukkah offering. If they're Muslim, I think you just missed Ramadan. But who wouldn't like a gift or two?
I have made a list of ladies who I think deserve encouragement because they are simply more interesting than others.
After wearing all those disguises I think Ruth is more than worthy of a dignified wardrobe. You don't have to buy it for her, but if you did I'm sure she'd take you to the best restaurant in town. I think it may be her own kitchen. I love Ruth's writing. Now that I've read all of her books, I feel beside myself. Ruthless. Not good.
Amanda looks the way I feel I should. Every time I look in the mirror, I'm surprised to see a short Swede staring back at me. I can't take my eyes off Amanda. So watchable! Talented and funny. Comes equipped with cute date with big scarf.
We all love Missy. You must too. Perhaps if you send her a little something she can teach us how to dance? Missy, I don't own a thing you would like. But perhaps I could interest you in some brandy mustard? It's delicious with your 1-minute ham.
What do you give someone who's got everything? Brains, looks, money, the color purple, success, newfound friendship with Letterman and speed dial to Dr Phil? I think you should give her a new line! Marc Jacobs for Oprah. Sure beats Harpo. Think she's happy with that brandname? Like Lorac? How about you going for Cram? I think a new brand might be the only thing that lady needs. In the entire world. Oprah, if you're reading this, I want that 20th anniversary box where you look happy and just a little bit crazy. Don't let those angels throw dust in your eyes.
I saw Hitch the other day. Now I love Eva too, like everyone else. Don't miss out on the credits, where Eva lets us see her true colors, in a wonderful, fantastic, not-to-be-missed-for-anything dance. Yeah, she danced with Will Smith who I usually love, but who can look at Will when Eva's dancing next to him? She'll be a dancing billboard for you!
When I see Eva I'm also reminded that I need to buy more of those amazing pantyhose they make these days. My favorite kind boasts of its "shock-up, Brazilian effect". Do you offer this kind of masterpiece, the crown of modern engineering?
Must go to bed,
sweet dreams from
ps. that top picture comes from a lady who really loves her shirley temple dolls. She's not the only one, Temple doll collectors have conventions every other year. There will be one next year, wanna go?