Friday, January 12, 2007

Another Swedish Anatomy lesson














Dear Marc, it's been a while since I last taught you weird Swedish words for various body parts. I thought I'd bring up some more. For instance, did you know that gums are called "Tandkött" in Swedish? Tooth-meat. Yummy.

Have you ever been complimented on your cute cuticles? In Sweden, we have nagelband. Nail bands. Play it for us, nails!

It may be a little confusing for Anglophile immigrants that we refer to each ankle as a "vrist". I hear in the States, the vrist is located closer to your arm.

But none of these are as interesting as the genital area. Swedish men come equipped with a penis and a "pung". You call it scrotum, we call it purse. Cause after all, that's where you keep your valuables. It's a medieval word for purse though, the kind that's a small bag where you keep your golden coins.

English speaking men have glans. Swedish speaking men have "ollon" - acorns. I assume Swedish men want to convey the nibbly quality of their privates. You anglos missed the train. Or perhaps you just placed the nibbly interest in nuts in your purses.

Quite close to the purse and acorn, you'll be happy to find the "stjärt"- the ass. The same for men and women. But ladies also have a stjärt in front. Some prude Swedes don't like to refer to the female genitals by their real names. Instead, they call it "framstjärt". Frontal ass. As in "sure you washed your frontal ass properly, dear?". We Swedish ladies have more asses than the rest of you. But we're happy to share.

That's all for today. Come back for another language lesson another day.

-Miss E.

16 comments:

daddylikeyblog said...

You should start charging for your language lessons, emi. I learn so much from this blog.

Francis S. said...

You forgot to explain the verbal form of ollon - "att olla"... a word we don't have in English, uh, curiously enough. And is actually frightening to contemplate why the word exists in Swedish.

-e said...

You're right. Olla is an important verb, curiously missing from the English language, despite movies such as American Pie. To Olla means to touch something with your glans.

I know vengeful acts, when an entire band has ollat the guitar strings of rival bands.

StormySleep said...

When I was a little girl in Texas, after my bath my mother would ask me if I washed my front bottom. I guess it was our version of framstjärt, which may be more universal than you imagine!

denise said...

in portuguese we call that thing purse too. we call it scrotal purse, or bolsa escrotal. purse in portuguese ie "bolsa".

Denise from brasil

misshoax said...

i think these insights into the swedish language are my favourite l.t.m.j. posts.. they're hysterical.

jenny said...

my cousin is married to a woman who is a tanner in sigtuna. she makes purses out of reindeers' pungs. pungs from pungs. it always makes us laugh.

j said...

I'm sorry e, you are making all of this up. I just checked the Institute for Language website and there is no such word as olla. I, for one have never touched anything (one) with my glans. Besides, I don't have a purse, I have a clutch and, along with my stick, I can be quickly shifted into overdrive. However, I don't think a frontal ass is the image that works for me.

rachel. said...

i love this blog!
i found it yesterday when googling 'marc jacobs london' to find the store opening, but this site is amazing!
i love your blogs, and i giggled alt at this one.
thank you for the greatness of this blog!
from rachel, london

-e said...

Well J, I don't know how to prove this to you. But look here
http://sv.wiktionary.org/wiki/olla

eurobrat said...

I do wish I was Swedish.

j said...

So eurobbat, what specifically in all this makes you want to be a Sweed? I know for me all the allure is in being able to perform olla…o la la.

Anonymous said...

hey e, r u a fashion spot member? if u r do u think u could invite me? my emails strikingtiger144@hotmail.com or u could just reply on here, thanks!

j said...

Well I hope I haven't Att lägga lök på laxen.

Host said...

thank you. What is particularly amazing about March Jacobs is that he may have the only true Marc Jacobs Purse. Is this why you love him?

Henna said...

Marc Jacobs, medievalism, english lessons, old english, all in one post. A girl truly after my own heart.