Dear Marc, would you like to see a little bit of my skeleton?
Great, here you are:
The image to the right is a colour drawing of my foot. The only thing missing in this picture is a twin bunion on the other side of the foot, placed in the middle of the small toe.
As you can imagine, having double bunions on already wide feet presents me with immense shoe problems. I was looking forward to surgery, dreaming about little stilettoes, Jimmy Choo miracles made of nothing but gold thread and perhaps a few sparkling stones and a little smiling cameo face of Tamara Mellon inserted into the heel, but those dreams were crushed yesterday.
I went to see a podiatrist who told me surgery was only a great option if I could not take two steps without experiencing the worst of pains.
She also told me that since I do not hurt barefoot, "your shoes are the problem, not your feet".
This leaves me with the rest of a very long future, the rest of my life, in comfortable and therefore ugly shoes.
WHY? WHY CAN NOT ONE TALENTED DESIGNER ADDRESS THIS ISSUE?
Why are we, the already handicapped, left to wear shoes that would only make a hairy hobbit happy?
Shocked by the news of my future, I went into overdrive and bought two pairs of very unflattering but anatomically correct trainers for many more pounds that I can afford. I wil return them tomorrow.
Between Darfur, the environment crisis and your president's plans for Irak, the state of my feet is a very minor issue for you to ponder, Im sure. But I'm not alone! There is money to be made from our growing bunions! You could take our cash and give it to the charity of your choice.
Then, bunions would finally be a source of not just pain, misery and grief, but also of new hope. You could make that difference.
Ps. This letter is not only for your eyes, Marc. Manolo, if you're reading, Stella, Christian L, Yves and Miuccia, if you feel like giving it a try - do go ahead. I'm not picky.