Thursday, May 18, 2006

When Marc, when?

Dear Marc, I think I speak for many when I say to you: Thank you for channeling the inner me into your fall fashion line. If I had a different kind of wallet and/or valet, perhaps the inner me would be seen on the outer me.

Meanwhile, this look is more true to the inner me than an x-ray of my heart. Curiously, such an x-ray would convey only a pair of black velvet pumps, priced $398.

I would also pawn my library of used but loved biographies (save the Cary Grant one) to own this dress.

How do you do it? How do you make these things seem so important?

What I really need is:

A bed side lamp.

A mixer.

An ironing board.




More glasses.

New underwear.

A stroller that's not broken.

Orthopedic shoes.

A bottle opener. Preferably shaped like an elephant.

A coffee maker. I am a TECHNI VORM.

Professional attire. As it is, I can only buy clothes for three modes:

1. Party. Or rather a 60's theme party. Sadly, I have yet to be invited to one. I am waiting in my closet together with 10 yet to be worn colorful polyester dresses.

2. That nice, brisk, long autumn walk. I have more knit scarves and comfortable jeans than all of Cambridge's and Oxfords students have together. I want to look good sipping tea by the fire.

3. Typing. I buy clothes that will look great when typing. I mean great as in "I wish I was typing a novel on a type writer in a movie where Jennifer Connelly (cunningly wearing glasses to mask her beauty) plays me." I havent't typed on a typewriter since I got hurt by one in a typing accident in '84.

Try getting a job in any of these outfits. I just heard Victor & Rolf will be guest designing for H&M. When will you do it Marc, when? I need affordable, stylish and professional garments for fall. I know you can do it.

Til' then, I'll be that girl wearing a banana/raspberry Pucci-print skort, walking shoes and long, Argyle scarf in the corner. To avoid attention, I'll be hiding behind a typewriter. You know where to find me. In the fashion emergency dept.

Currently wearing an orange t-shirt with golden owl, worn jeans, white socks and glasses.
But on the inside, I'm foxy like a wolf. See pic at top.


Leo said...

Your 'letters' are too funny. This is one of only two girl blogs that I read.


In Spades said...

I absolutely love your blog. It's extremely clever, and not at all gimmicky. I share your love of Marc Jacobs and Cary Grant biographies.

-Miss Bennet

Lars said...

Underbart e., hälsar LF

Eebs said...

Brilliant post, Emi.

susanna said...

Hah! It's always a delight to read your blog. Out of curiosity, has The Marc ever responded to you?

doc said...

My bottle opener is shaped like a scorpion. I live in the desert.

-e said...

Dear Susanna, I don't think he cares. There was a Marc Jacobs who posted a comment way back, but that could have been anyone using his name. I'll just never know.